Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
i think im in europe. pls send help
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
