So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
