you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize