***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
