I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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