Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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