I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
