I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
