Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
porn star boner night. come get it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize