Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
