Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
