I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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