his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
