last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
