Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
