dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
