Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
