she was so not down for the gang bang
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize