New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
