are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
