i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
