i wish starbucks made bloody marys
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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