I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
