DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
