i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize