Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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