question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
