Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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