Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
