I wannas sexs uuuuu
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
not ubering you a puppy
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
