Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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