Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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