Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
