she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
