Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
