your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
