I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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