The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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