Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
