i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize