This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
