You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
