I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
