What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We left the knife in your bed.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
