Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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