your thong is hanging out like whoa
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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