His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
