We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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