she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
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