So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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