yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
