brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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