Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
