Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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