Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
