Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
