I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just pee around me
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
