My nipple is on Facebook.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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