I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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