My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Hello my rib-scented angel!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize