And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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