Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
they need to just BURY HIM!
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Randomize
