honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
