It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
