its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I could fuck to npr.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
