when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
