Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
